The original release of Pirates in 2005 sent shock waves through the adult film world. Not since Fashionistas has an adult film changed the way the rest of the porn world makes movies. So it stands to reason that the highly anticipated sequel, Pirates #2: Stagnetti's Revenge, has been three years in the making and has been shrouded in secrecy. Well, a little of that shroud came off yesterday with the release of the front cover of Pirates #2: Stagnetti's Revenge. It comes as no surprise to me that Digital Playground contract star Jesse Jane is front and center on the box. Afterall, she is one of the main characters reprising her role from the original. Absent from Pirates #2 is Janine Lindemulder who appeared in the original Pirates. Digital Playground made sure to replace her star power with someone who has the same broad fan appeal in casting Belladonna. Taking a look at the cast list it is a venerable who's who of porn stars along with some new up and comers. In all honesty, I may have to come out of reviewing retirement and pop this one into the old DVD player and do the review myself.

Jenna Jameson: Showing the effects of taking too many money shots

Let's face it. Many of our first introductions to the world of porn somehow involved sneaking a peek at a video in which Jenna Jameson appeared. I'll admit it. I've rolled off uncountable loads of man batter while watching her videos but lately I am starting to regret those solo sessions. Sure she has moved on and is retired from performing on camera. Jameson even went on a tirade during the 2008 AVN Awards Show seeming to lecture the audience on how great she is and proclaiming, “I will never spread my legs in this industry again”.

Okay, we get it Jenna. You made your millions and you found yourself a boyfriend in Tito Ortiz who apparently really loves you to the point he is willing to gravy train off your millions you made by being a slut. He apparently has no problem boning a vagina that probably is like dropping a golf pencil down an abandoned oil well. We get all that. And a part of me was rather sad to see her go. Even though her body of work at the tail end of her performing career was rather lackluster and she was only doing girls and never did anal (only with sex toys in her ass, I know people) you still were hoping for her to return to the form you originally fell in love with. I would compare it to watching your favorite athlete drop routine passes or strike out on hanging curve balls they would have hit for homers.

Even though Jenna is no longer "spreading her legs for the industry" I can not seem to get away from her. She is popping up on red carpets everywhere and all the images that come across my desk makes me think that Jenna retiring may not have come soon enough. She is no longer looking hot, is in desperate need to eat a sandwich and her face looks to be showing the wear and tear of thousands of DNA samples that have been blasted upon it at high velocity. Memo to Jenna: You are the most well known porn star on the planet. Whether you care about the industry in which you were able to build your multi-million dollar empire you may want to keep up your appearance while in public. Also, 1987 called. It wants it's crimping iron back.

Photo Courtesy of: Drunken Stepfather

Kim Kardashian could be shaking her moneymaker for an even bigger audience.

I've never attempted to figure out why Kim Kardashian is considered to be famous. Sure, her step dad is a former Olympic Decathlon winner and her late father helped O.J. Simpson get away with murder (allegedly).I will even give it up that she has some nice tits and an even bigger ass. But do all those things add up to make her someone worthy of her own reality show and the moniker of "star"? She's only been a "star" in her sex tape where she is fucking Ray J. (You all know she is down with Interracial sex too because if Ray J wasn't enough she has recently been dating New Orleans Saints running back Reggie Bush.) Whatever the reason is, judging by the way you freaking perverts have been renting her sex tape, Kim Kardashian Collector's Edition, you and apparently the rest of America want to see more of her. Judging by the amount of expansion her ass has been taking on lately, she is happy to oblige you all.

Now comes rumors that Kim K could be one of the celebrities tabbed for the upcoming season of "Dancing with the Stars" on ABC-TV. Apparently race car driver and former winner of Dancing with the Stars, Helio Castroneves, was overheard at the ESPY Awards last week saying that Kim Kardashian will be among the celebrity dancers tabbed for the upcoming season. I can only pray that the show's costume designers custom fit her dress with enough fabric to accentuate her enormous ba-donka-donk. While I am making requests, how about something extremely low cut with the tendency for a "wardrobe malfunction" too. That and a few cutaways to Kim sucking cock when the judges find her performance particularly bad. That way we can comfort ourselves by seeing her do something she is actually good at.

Sure you have watched your fair share of bukkake movies but have you ever been to one? Do you really know what goes on at one of these things? I recently came across (no pun intended) a model release form used specifically for the guys performing in a bukkake. It includes the normal instructions like needing a valid ID for 2257 compliance and call times but there are some other instructions that struck me as funny.

For example, the release actually says, "If you have never been with a girl before alert the paperwork manager and he will show you a picture of a pussy so you are not overwhelmed." Seriously? Are there that many guys showing up to a bukkake that have never seen a woman's vagina? Still they are whacking off onto a woman with 70 other naked guys all around them? Another interesting tid bit unique to the bukkake on-set experience is that the first 50 guys that cum get paid in cash. No, the 51st guy does not get stiffed but he will receive a check at the next bukkake. More like a "sorry pal, but you should have been quicker on the draw" penalty and you still have to show up at the next one to collect your check. Oh, the shame and distress that comes with being No. 51.

Seeing this release form reminds me of the interview I did with Ashley Blue when she was amazed to learn that I had never been to a bukkake in person. I understand that Ashley sees a lot of fucked up shit in her line of work but just randomly attending an event where the naked guys outnumber the naked girls 70 to one? I think I will pass. But it is good to know now that if I ever get dragged to one of these I'll know to make fun of the losers that can't pop within the first 50 guys. They'll be easily recognizable and the ones walking out with no cash in hand and an invite to attend the next one. A hat tip goes to the guys at HolyTaco.com for finding this little gem.

Since severing her contract with Digital Playground, Teagan Presley has filed for divorce from Tyler Durden, gotten her old breasts removed and new implants put in, landed a new boyfriend and has since moved to Georgia. Now comes news from a recent interview with Adult Video News that Teagan will only do girls on film out of respect for her boyfriend.

Okay, but please stop me if you have heard this one before. Haven't we seen this pattern all too often that these girls that broke into porn doing every sexual act under the sun suddenly swear off the cock because they found a boyfriend? Jenna Haze and her decision to go all girl and subsequently sign a contract with Jill Kelly Productions ring any bells? Yeah, you can see how well that turned out. Apparently it took Jenna Haze about 10 seconds to mourn the break-up of her relationship with boom mic guy before she booked her comeback to the dick with Mr Marcus in Jenna Haze's Darkside. So excuse me if I am feeling a bit underwhelmed by this news of Teagan swearing off riding the meat stick.

Then again, the amount of cock she took in her early years before getting fakies and signing a contract could get a dedicated raincoater through a few solid months before having to recycle the same scene. Teagan, for the sake of your fans, ditch this "no dick" decree and go back to what made you a star. Your fans will thank you and I am sure it will reflect in your paycheck as well.

Photo Courtesy of: Digital Playground

Janine Lindemulder is accustomed to being the one getting the high hard one on camera but court documents has revealed she allegedly gave a big stiffy and rousing "go fuck yourself" to the federal government. The Internal Revenue Service is charging the legendary adult film actress with failure to pay taxes from tax year 2004. Court records acquired by The Smoking Gun, a website dedicated to publishing court documents pertaining to celebrities, contend that Janine owes over $79,000 in back taxes from 2004. The document goes on to reveal that Janine earned over $350,000 in taxable income in that year.

Janine was arraigned Monday on the federal charges and released without bail after entering a not guilty plea. She is scheduled for a September 16 trial before a magistrate judge in Oregon. The reason why this case is being held in Oregon and not Janine's home state of California is that she was a resident of that state when she was married to motorcycle fabricator and host of Monster Garage, Jesse James. Although the separation from James has been widely publicized, according to the official court document, Janine is still using the legal name of Janine Marie James. The Lindemulder surname was included as her a.k.a. in the court document as well.

Janine has spent time on contract for large porn studios including Vivid and Digital Playground during her career. She has retired and unretired from porn a number of times and as far as to my knowledge is still working in adult films but is not on contract with any major studio.

Photo Courtesy of: eBay

Wanna buy these? Don't worry, they're washed

Former Digital Playground contract star Teagan Presley is selling her titties to the highest bidder on eBay. No, you still have no shot to fuck her but if you have at least $2,000 laying around the house, you can buy her recently removed breast implants. She's selling them at auction for a number of reasons, mainly because she recently had new ones put in. The implants she had for two years had encapsulated after she became pregnant with her first child and according to the description on the eBay auction, "became encapsulated which made them hard as bricks." Teagan is currently involved in a very ugly and very public divorce and custody battle with her estranged husband and fellow porn performer, Tyler Durden. Teagan plans to donate 20 percent of the auction's final closing price to the Susan G. Komen for the Cure fund for breast cancer research while the remaining 80 percent will go toward her impending legal bills and to pay off her most recent breast augmentation surgery. The winning bidder will not only get both implants (which have been medically sterilized) but will also receive an autographed copy of Babysitters, a film in which the implants for sale appeared in as well as two autographed photos of Teagan. As of today, the auction has received no bids yet and is set to expire on July 19, 2008 at 7:56:52 pm Pacific Daylight Time.

You may recall last year that porn star and ultimate media whore, Mary Carey sold her removed breast implants on, eBay for $15,269.69. Mary Carey's auction was also supposed to benefit the Susan G. Komen Foundation but the exact percentage that was donated was undisclosed. A major difference between the Teagan auction and the Mary Carey auction is the price for shipping. Mary Carey only made the poor sap pay $12 for Priority Mail Service while Teagan is asking for a whopping $45 for shipping. If someone is planning on paying at least two grand for a pair of worn out hooters you would think she could toss in free shipping. I guess divorce lawyers cost more than I thought.

Photo Courtesy of: Smash Pictures

Ava Rose is leaving Adam and Eve but will not be getting out of porn.

Adam & Eve is down to three contract stars with the news that Ava Rose and the studio have both mutually agreed to not renew Rose's contract. You may recall that Ava Rose entered porn with her younger sister, Mia Rose, and the two immediately became known as the "Alaskan Sisters". The elder Rose first appeared in Homies Big Butt Road Trip #5 along side her sister and immediately caught the attention of porn producers everywhere when both sisters appeared in Moving Violations for Smash Pictures. Ava Rose appeared in a few more gonzo DVDs before landing her contract with Adam & Eve. During her tenure with the studio she appeared on the cover of numerous big films including Pulp Friction, Eden and more recently released Carolina Jones And The Broken Covenant.

Rose and Adam & Eve chose to not renew the contract based on the fact that rose envisions herself staying in porn for another year and then getting out of the business. She plans to return to college to pursue a degree in Criminal Psychology. With the departure of Rose from Adam & Eve, that leaves the studio with just three contract girls. Contract mainstay, Carmen Luvana is the longest tenured contract girl with Adam & Eve. AVN Best New Starlet Bree Olson is also still on contract and the recently added Kayden Kross is still in the first year of her contract. No word if Adam & Eve is actively seeking a fourth contract star to replace the rose departure or is happy with their current three contract girls.

As a friendly reminder please note that in observance of Independence Day, July 4th, the offices and warehouse of XRentDVD will be closed. That means that orders placed after 9 p.m. Eastern on Thursday, July 3rd on items we currently have in stock will be shipped on Saturday, July 5th. Enjoy the holiday and if you are feeling especially patriotic and want to support a great cause, might we suggest the Free Speech Coalition. The FSC has been fighting against censorship for over 15 years and is committed to maintaining your right as an adult to view adult material. What's more patriotic than supporting the First Amendment on July 4th? Or you could just order a whole lot of porn today to have it shipped overnight and have your own celebration of independence by exercising your right as an adult to view adult oriented material. Either way, have a happy and safe 4th of July from everyone at XRentDVD.