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| All Anal Joint! Starring Annette Schwarz! Going, Going, Gone! For The First Time In History! |
| Jack Napier is known for his proclivity for anal sex and for his king sized member. This disc features five scenes and 6 girls who dare to take on the Puerto Rican Pipe. The result? Lots of ass to mouth and buyers remorse from girls with eyes that are bigger than their assholes. |
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| Sandra Romain and Maya Gates join forces to put a Romanian double team on Jack. Sandra has the bubble butt and cocksucking skills for the job, but tight little Maya Gates, with easily the best body in this video, looks like she may be out of her league. The girls both get busy blowing the big salami, but Maya is clearly outclassed by Sandra's considerable talents in working both shaft and bag. Jack takes turns tagging both girl's pussies and there's lots of oral between dippings, with Sandra making a respectable attempt at deep throating the beast. Sandra's shit pipe gets blasted first, but she has more than enough ass to handle it - her pucker just laughs and snaps shut when Jack makes a futile attempt at a gape. Maya gets a little lick on her pooper from Sandra's tongue before Jack guides the Starship Enterprise up the chute. The three engage in anal from every angle with ample amounts of ass to mouth between each invasion. The scene ends with the girls again teaming up to suck Jack dry, and they swap the sauce from his stick. |
| These girls are seasoned pros with bodies built for porn and they both look great while taking the pipe with ease. But the proceedings are a bit on the clinical side and the things never heat up enough to rise to the level of a great scene. |
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| Dana Dearmond is a girl next door type with a pretty face and a great body that unfortunately is covered up with too much lingerie. She warms up her asshole with a glass dildo while Jack sneaks up behind her, climbing down from the loft like Spiderman. She gets his dick wet with some deep throating and ball licking, then he gets busy with the baseball bat, making her pussy yawn open like the Carlsbad Cavern. She fingers her butthole a little more in preparation for the initial missionary invasion, during which we get a good look at her nice round ass as jack digs in for some pooper pumping. After the requisite ATM and gape, Dana gets on her side to have colon stretched tight around Jack's canned ham. Jack earns points for creativity by combining reverse cowgirl with a Half Nelson wrestling hold while putting some serious burn on Dana's sphincter. The scene ends with an ACPATM, aka an anal creampie ass to mouth. |
| My weakness for girl next door types compels me to give this scene a rating of 4. Dana Dearmond is a sweet faced girl with a filthy mouth, a sunny disposition and the willingness to try anything - just the kind of girl I could take home to meet mom. |
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| Jack must have been short of time because he dispenses with the foreplay and homes straight in on the pussy of a long and lean Latina named 99. He barely has time to get her name before she's on her knees. He quickly picks her up for a little standing reverse cowgirl action, then puts her down and slams her asshole form behind - she rolls and bounces on his cock and reacts like she's seeing god. 99 must be her weight as well as her name because Jack keeps picking her up to pound her ass. He attacks her bung hole from behind while she's standing, then teaches her a new yoga position called downward facing doggie. After some ass to mouth, Jack starts alternating between fucking her pussy and ass, finally deciding to blow his load in her ass. Then he decides to give equal time to her tookie and dumps a load there too. The fun wraps up her her sucking some of the jizz of of his cock. |
| 99 tries hard and talks dirty, but she looks too much like a post-op tranny for me. Girl selection is half the battle in porn and this girl kills the scene from the word go. |
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| At 5'10 with nice natural boobies, Audrey Elson has a body built for a guy like Jack Napier, and she's been training with her butt plug. She initially gags on his cock, but after a little titty fucking and ball licking she tries again and is able to withstand a full skull fuck. Jack works her pussy for an unusually long time and in every position before he finally gets around to tinkering with her stinker. She lays down on her side and takes a good solid pounding to the ass. When Jack works her asshole in the reverse cowgirl position, she redefines the term "legs akimbo" by pointing her incredibly long gams toward the ceiling in a V formation that, had they been fucking out by the pool, would probably have been visible from space. Audrey doesn't do ATM, but she does take a nice facial at the end. |
| This scene seemed a little hurried and although Audrey is cute enough, she could use to lose a few pounds around the middle. |
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| Annette Schwarz is a tall blond from Germany. She is the closing act in this video because she brings skills that Jack himself admits he has never seen before. She starts working he cock with her mouth and both hands and then calmly unlatches her jaw and takes Jack's entire cobra down her throat. The other girls in this vid would take maybe 2/3 of it, but here we see Annette with her nose pressed against Jacks abdomen, his balls on her chin and her eyes about to pop out of their sockets. And to prove it was no fluke, she does it five or six more times during the course of the scene. Maybe she should have saved this trick for the end because everything afterward is, no pun intended, anticlimactic. She makes some other good moves, like a sideways, rolling, grinding cowgirl anal, but the deep throat scene is still hanging over the room, reverberating like the big bang. There's some gaping, some asshole to pussy to asshole fucking, and a facial with an after suck.
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| The deep throat is incredible and it elevates the scene from a 3 rating to a 4, but it also makes some of Annette's later yelping and "oh mien got!" overacting hard to believe. Lots of raw talent here but not so much heat. |
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Bonus Features
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| Flem Snopes's Overall Impression |
| With the exception of 99, all of the girls on this disc are fuckable. While it's always interesting to see how a girl will respond to a comically large, mutant penis, good porn always requires the extra element of a girl who is either into it for real or damn good at faking it. Dana was the only girl in this vid who was able to sell it to me. |
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